Starting Over

A gallery show has a  lifecycle of its own.  First comes the spark of an idea…and then hours or days of contemplating the possibilities, working out the plan in my mind.  Soon I’m taking a few first steps of actual work on the eggs.  This is the fun part.  Yes, this will work!  I am convinced I can do it.  More quiet hours at my desk steadily applying fine lines of wax or waiting patiently for the dye color to be just right.  This is going to be a wonderful show, I can tell already.

Usually about midway into the process come the first seeds of self-doubt.  Are my designs strong enough?  Did I choose the right theme?  Can I complete enough work in this theme?  Will I finish enough eggs by the deadline?  What if I can’t do it?  Am I really an artist or am I fooling myself?  What if I don’t make the deadline?  Should I just give up now?  Why did I ever agree to this gallery?  What am I doing on this earth?

Okay, take a breath, I remind myself.  You can do this.  Remember to focus on one egg at a time.  One line at a time.  The work continues, slowly but surely.  As the deadline looms ever closer I realize I’m going to make it after all.  The completed eggs silently cheer me on and even in the final frenzy of setting up the show with all its time consuming details, I feel a mystifying satisfaction.  I know deep in my soul that I am an artist because God created me that way.  And it is good.

Now to start my next show.